It’s hard for the illegal immigrants in the U.S to receive a good education. In the article “An Education In Citizenship” Illinois passed a bill that will allow illegal immigrants pay the state tuition rates in Illinois colleges and universities. I believe this is a good start in illegal immigrants receiving a good education.
Education is the most valuable benefit in the U.S. However not all states allow illegal immigrants to go to college and receive a better education. Illinois passed a bill that will allow illegal immigrants get educated. All students that are in the U.S illegally who want to go and receive a better education should be able to. To be in the U.S illegally is breaking the law. This makes it impossible for illegal immigrants to have any sort of education in the U.S. I believe by paying the tuition helping the state by paying taxes this shouldn’t be an issue. Even though they are breaking the law illegal immigrants are contributing giving money to the state. Illegal immigrants should be able to be educated. It helps the state and the illegal immigrants receive knowledge.
Hi Levy, my name is steven. Your essay was assigned to me to give feedback to, so I'm going to try my best to help you improve your essay.
ReplyDelete1.Your intro was good but its need alot of improvent, you have the right idea, for example you put the main idea you gave a TINY summary and u said what you agreed with, which is all a intro needs but you need to fix it up make it stronger. You also have to work on your summary, add more information from the artictle in to your summary so the reader can know that you understood the artictle.
2.Your body paragraph needs alot of work, first off you need two body paragraph not one. One paragraph should be why you agreed/disagreed with what the author of the artictle said and the other paragraph should be an example or an experience you had. I felt that your body paragraph had neither of that, from what i read it seems like its more like your explaining what the bill was then trying to agree with it.
3.Your conclusion needs a little work to. For the conclusion you just need to reinstate the main idea and thats it. Make it clear that you are ending your essay, try not to use words like in conclusion to say that you are ending your essay(not saying you were) but trying using therefore or other words that make sure people know that you are ending your essay.
4.The final step is reread what you worte like that you can see what you did wrong and correct the tiny mistakes that you could of made. It can also help you figure what you forgot to put in your essay.
OOOOOO and dont forget to revise your essay and when your revising it I help my advice helps.